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I’ve been absent from the art community for awhile. There are several reasons for this, most important was the loss of my dad followed by my step mom three months later. To say 2020 was a hard year would be an understatement on so many levels. I know loss was a part of many if not all to some degree.

I have felt a bit lost and had no motivation or inspiration to create so after taking care of my parents affairs with my siblings, I have focused on working on updating our home. Using some of my dads tools I recently finished updating 3 of the bathrooms 1970’s cupboards. This made me feel close to my dad as it was something a bit out of my comfort zone and I had many conversations in my head with him as I worked.

This is what the cabinets looked like before, check out the ‘groovy groove’. I had changed out the hardware which helped but I really hated that groove lol.

I also didn’t like the shiny paint so I added filled the groove, added the shaker style trim and painted them with an eggshell finish paint. Some new hardware and instant love!

The powder room

The third bathroom I painted the cupboards black. Really love them. We still want to tile the showers and replace the cultured marble vanity tops but we are going to put that off until Fall. We have another very big project on the books that I’ll share later.

As I navigated my way through life without my parents here, I feel especially connected to my dad when I’m working on house projects. He taught me many things using his tools to work with is very healing for me. So while my artwork has been on a back burner for now, I am loving being creative in different ways.

17 responses

  1. Pam,
    Its been a long time…. I hope you are healing a bit more every day; its been several years since I lost my dad ( and my mom did the unspeakable when I was 8.) I sense my dad on my shoulder so many times and now smile as I know he is still with me.
    I want you to know I think of you often when I am pulling out your inks or glazes and especially your portrait book; it is one of my go to’s for sure!
    The bathrooms turned out super great; you made your papa very proud!
    Maybe one of these days our paths will cross again at Art Unraveled; take care of yourself and hope you pull out your pencils soon…
    Julia

  2. You did a great job of the remodeling, I am sure your Dad would be pleased. My heart goes out to you and I hope that the great love that you have will light the way. Blessings and Grace to you and yours.

  3. I’m so sorry for your loss. 2020 was hard for me as well – I lost my beautiful mom one day after her 99th birthday. Life will never be the same. Unlike you, I haven’t been able to motivate myself to do much of anything. The things I’ve always enjoyed are just sitting there, untouched. The things I need to do are still waiting to be done. My mom would hate this for me. I’m so glad you posted those pics – blessings to you and your family in all the days ahead.

  4. Dear Pam, I’m so so sorry for your loss .My heart goes out to you. I feel it in my heart your dad was next to you as you created with your his tools. Sending you a virtual hug, Pam and much love! xox

  5. I’m very sorry for your loss, Pam. I know how stress and grief can affect ones creativity. I’ve had a tough 2020 and am hoping to get back into my creative groove soon. Best wishes!

  6. Sorry for you and your families loss. Yes , 2020 didnt live up to any of it’s promises. Glad you are back on track with your life ,and look forward to seeing your coming projects. ….stay safe ..take care

  7. I have been thinking about you and wondered if you were taking a hiatus. My deepest condolences on your loss. It must have been so difficult. It hurts to think about it. We’re all out here for you. xo

  8. Dear Pam,

    Thank you for sharing this time of your life with us. I have had you in my heart and prayers for quite a while. I am sorry for this double loss. Grief ebbs and flows, brings memories filled with laughter and tears. There is no wrong way to traverse the path of loss. When my parents died (Dad in 2004 and Mom in 2015) it was challenging for me, as I was also their only caregiver for the last twenty five years of their lives.

    My younger sister died in early March, and I must remember to breathe deeply and allow the feelings and pain to work its way to the surface. Our loved ones will always be with us. I still talk with my soulmate and it’s been almost 30 years since he died. I love that I can still hear his voice in my head. He was the one who taught me to use “manly tools” as he called them. Thanks for reminding me of that. Your dad must be so proud of the work you have done. It is a beautiful legacy and I am so glad he left you with that.

    Your art is in you. It will be there when you are ready to be still with your muse and open a blank page in your journal. Allow yourself time to want to pick up a brush and play with color again.

    I am just now reacquainting myself with my art supplies after five years. My sister’s death reminded me that life is too short to loose touch of my passions and joys. By mid March I was wanting out of the safety net I had swaddled around me when Mother died. I consciously am choosing happy memories, and playing with happy colors. Each morning I get up with a sense of excitement and adventure. I am paying attention to the little delights that show up for me and am filling my heart with gratitude that I am able to do so. When you are ready, I trust that this will happen for you.

    I love you and cherish the things you have taught me through art, art journaling, and life sharing moments. I have your crow where I can see him in my art room as a reminder that what I do is exactly right and exactly enough each day.

    I will continue holding you in my heart and praying for the pain to ease and time to sooth your bruised heart.

    Your friend in art and heart, Lorna

  9. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your parents.  I know how very difficult that can be.  Wonderful, though, that you were able to feel close to your dad while remodeling your bathrooms.  And they look beautiful.  I hope that 2021 is a better year for you- and for all of us.
    marilyn

  10. Thank you for sharing this story with us! I’m so sorry for your loss, and I really appreciate how these experiences can affect your motivation and creativity. What a wonderful way you have chosen to feel close to your dad and honor his memory.

    I’ve been trying to embrace gentleness in this past year — toward others, but also toward myself, saying, “Getting through this is enough.” Our relationships, mental and physical health, work product or process, art product or process — none of them need to be perfect or particularly inspired. Just getting through is enough for right now. I hope you continue to celebrate the fact that you’ve completed a really satisfying series of projects!

    Regards,

    Holly

  11. My heart goes out to you, Pam. Obviously your Dad is still with you and even though you can not see him anymore, you can still feel him, talk to him and receive his love through his spirit. The wonderful times you had together are precious memories that can console you through the difficult times. It always helps to remember what you had instead of what you lost.

  12. Hi, Pam: I’m a long-time fan but rarely interact on social media. I (literally) just sat down to read “Creating Art at the Speed of Life” (again) and saw this message. Please know that I feel your loss and am sending healing thoughts your way. The loss of parents can be so difficult. It’s good to take your time to grieve and rejuvenate your soul. Thank you for all you’ve shared, personally and artistically. Wishing you all the best, Suzanne

  13. Oh Pam, my heart breaks for you. I bet your dad would have been proud of you updating skills. We feel like something has been cut out of us when a loved one leaves, but those cherished moments you had with him mean even more. Hugs and blessings of comfort and understanding dear lady.

  14. I am sorry for the loss you experienced. One major thing about art and creativity that I’ve discovered is that it comforts my soul through the valleys of life! God bless!

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